REDNECK STORY OF THE WEEK
The time my uncle brushed his teeth with denture cream
Here’s another family vacation story featuring the same uncle from my story a couple weeks ago. He was sharing a hotel room with my aunt (not his wife, but another one of my Dad’s sisters) who like many rednecks, happens to be missing all of her teeth.
As usual, he was the first one up and about in the morning gettin’ the day started. When it came time to brush his teeth, he realized he had forgotten to pack toothpaste, so he woke up my aunt asking to borrow some of hers. Because she was half-asleep, she wasn’t thinking clearly (even less clearly than usual), and while fumbling through her make-up bag for toothpaste, she instead hands him her denture cream.
She goes back to bed but can still hear my uncle from the bathroom singing to himself while he brushes. It didn’t take long for the singing to turn into cussing, and when he came out of the bathroom, he exclaimed, “My lib is suck to me tee!”
With the help of my aunt, he was finally able to unstick his lip from his teeth, and fortunately for my uncle, the cuts on his lip caused by the denture cream helped his dip hit harder.