2012 Election Night Drinking Game Rules

Howdy fellow rednecks! So I know my account has been inactive for a while, but I thought I’d take the opportunity to share some advice on how to effectively do the most patriotic thing you can do on election day: drink.

Pick a news channel covering the Election and drink according to what is broadcast on their station.

Take 1 drink anytime someone mentions the phrases

  • Red State
  • Blue State
  • Swing State
  • Popular Vote
  • National Debt
  • Economy
  • Abortion
  • Gay Marriage
  • Hurricane Sandy
  • Nonstop Election Coverage

Take 2 drinks anytime someone mentions the phrases

  • 47%
  • You didn’t build that.
  • Legitimate Rape
  • 9/11
  • Osama Bin Laden
  • God Bless America
  • Recount
  • Birth Certificate
  • Offshore Bank Account
  • Founding Fathers

Finish your drink if

  • A non-swing state goes to the party not predicted to win it.
  • The news station prematurely declares that a candidate has won the state and then takes it back.
  • Someone on TV refers to “Moving to Canada.”

Special Rules

  • Hand out a beer to shotgun if the candidate you voted for wins the state you voted in. If the candidate you voted for loses your state, you have to shotgun that beer.
  • If you didn’t vote or voted 3rd party, take a drink every time “voter turnout” and “3rd party” are mentioned. Also drink continuously when any 3rd party candidate is shown on air.
  • If Obama wins the election, everyone drinks 4 MORE BEERS.
  • If Romney wins the election, everyone drinks a glass of a top-shelf drink.
  • If the winner of the popular vote loses the election, everyone shotguns a beer!

Remember, no matter who wins the election, be proud of America, because America is still the best fucking country in the world, AND IF YOU DON’T LIKE ‘MERICA, YOU CAN GET THE FUCK OUT!